Forgiveness is not about forgetting. Nor is it about excusing. Forgiveness is also not a feeling.
It's a decision modeled after God's own forgiveness of us.
Even though it was wrong, and even while we remember, we decide to forgive. The feelings may or may not follow later, and we may never forget what was done, especially if it was traumatic for us.
But do we need to forgive everybody, especially someone who hasn't repented of their wrongdoing to us?
To be clear, there is a big difference between reconciliation and forgiveness.
We should forgive all unilaterally, regardless of their repentance, because Christ died for us, and everyone, even while we were his enemies. Christ brought forgiveness for everybody on the cross even though many do not repent and so remain in a broken relationship with God.
But reconciliation does require repentance.
This means the incident may stand in the way of your relationship even though you have forgiven them, because restoring the broken relationship requires them to turn away from what they did and apologize properly.
Bruce Burgess, National Director of PeaceWise,
www.peacewise.org.au
